Dog-Pile

Hello there blog!
I am sorry I ignored you for a while but the last month has put me in a terribly depressed funk! But just know that I love you and missed you terribly! There were many times that I longed to check in and write about what I am feeling but I could never find the right words to use! It's like I am feeling all of these emotions that I can't really describe. Which stinks because when you don't even know what you are feeling it makes you confused which heaps another feeling on top of the already chaotic dog pile of mixed up emotions! It seems like lately friendships that were soo near and dear to my heart have been dropped, cracked and violently misstreated while friendships that I had thought disappated over the years have been brought back stronger than they ever were! If it wasn't for those friendships resurfacing I don't think I would be in a good of a mind set as I am at this moment! Though it is not mentally or emotionally where I would really want to be it is better than the darker scarier alternative! I have a problem, dearest blog, that I cannot seem to come to a conclusion about! There are people on boths sides of this problem giving me seperate advice but I don't know which to follow! I think I have problems when it comes to problem solving because ever since I was little I would sit and stress out about making a right or wrong choice afraid of it being the outcome that I didn't want! So instead I sit and muddle around until either the answer hurls itself into my face, someone makes a decision for me or I become soo stressed out about making a choice that I blindly hurl a choice out there for better or worse! It is all terribly confusing and stressful! I hate it when I am put in those positions! I also hate it when I invest soo much of myself into something only to be shutdown, kick around, and ignored! It sucks!
Anyway that is what has been keeping me away from you, My Blog! I am sorry it took me soo long to find the words to say but hopefully now that I have found my tongue it will take a small body off of the dog pile so that I can actually function in my daily life!