Apology

I apologize for cursing health care workers and such in my swine flu post! Turns out I had Bronchitis! Even though I still think it's weird I got sick the same day that I got the mist I will take back what I said because it was in fact not swine flu!

YAY! 21!!

I had my 21st birthday on Saturday and it was nice! I got to hang out with my sister and mom just hopping around doing nothing just hanging! What was really cool though is that it snowed all day!! This was symbolic to me because on the day I was born it snowed also!! I loved it!! Plus I got to have a very yummy strawberry frappucino from starbucks!!! :)
It was all in all a very good birthday!

My Dream

I never got a chance to record a dream that I had a few weeks ago so I am going to do it now before I forget! A few weeks prior I was having a very hard time! I was feeling very useless in my family and very undeserving to have another birthday come around to remind me of my unworthy state in life! Well On a night of deepest depression I had a dream that shook me to the core! I don't remember the details of the dream only that in it I had an older brother! For those who know me know that I am the oldest child and the only of whom has brown hair and hazel eyes! Yes sadly I am lost in a see of blonde hair and blue eyes! In this dream My brother was a very handsome young man who to my astonishment had brown hair and hazel eyes! In the dream I remembered crying and him taking me into his arms and telling me "you are doing great! Just hold on you are going to make it!" I woke up from my dream crying just as hard as in the dream! The next day during a conversation with my mother and sister I decided to share my odd dream with them! After my dream retelling was over my mom said to me "You knew I had a miscarriage before I got pregnant with you, right?" I swear I had a chill shoot straight down my spine and I burst into tears! To this day I have no sad feelings about this dream or what I learned after it! I only have a deep felt love for this brother that I never met and a knowing that perhaps he is my guardian angel helping me through these rough times waiting for a day when perhaps we can embrace each other again!

Swine Flu

Swine Flu.....The Flu of Swine.....H1N1!! Whatever you like to call it doesn't matter! It's driving people in this world MAD!! Last week to make my mother feel better so that she wouldn't stress out that I would die at a young age My sister and I went and got the Flu Mist! Now one week later I am MISERABLE! I have many of the traits of Swine Flu but am hoping it is just a really bad cold! BUT what if this "vaccination" didn't work like it was supposed to! Maybe the government and the health department decided to use the distressed public as lab rats to see if the can target and contain this H1N1!! Hahaha I love trying to think of conspiracy theories! It makes life interesting!! Anyway Cold or Flu I am miserable! In a few days I will officially be as adult as I can get! Yes world I McKell will be 21 years of age on Saturday!!! If I am sick on that special day I curse the government and the health department! May you all be sick on the day of your birth for the rest of your lives!! Bwah hahahahaha!!

This is Me!

Wow I finally have a space for myself to express my thoughts, feelings, ideas etc. I have definately needed this! Well today is June 11, 2009! I am currently 20 years old with very very short brown hair and way too many things weighing on my mind! I still live with my family and currently and sadly don't have a job! I hope to be able to visit often and express things I cannot in the "real world."